Olympic Humor, sort of

Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While they were sitting sitting there on a bench watching the proceedings, soaking up the atmosphere of the track and field competitions, the lady next to them turned to Ole and asked, “Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?”

Ole turned to the lady and politely replied, “No, I’m Norvegian, und my name ain’t Valter.”

Six Word Memoir

Steakbellie tagged me with a challenge. I’m a sucker for these things.

The rules:

1) Write your own six word memoir
2) Post it on your blog; include a visual illustration if you’d like
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links
5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

My Memoirs (I’m gonna cheat and do more than one):

Learned that happiness
is named Dagmar.

Drifted too long.
Late bloomer, hopfully?

Blue dot
in a
red state.

Years pass sweetly,
Future beckons urgently.

Worked too hard
for the man.

Futility futility futility futility futility futility.

Bah! Gah! Grrr! Hhmph!

My stupid www.radloffs.net website is down, and I can’t figure out to whom I owe money to get it to work again. I just paid them a few months ago. I have another dumb old website I need a DNS transfer for, but I can’t get it to work. I paid them, but the transfer didn’t go through and I can’t get anyone to answer their e-mail to tell me what to do.

I just want things to work. I want a day without having to fight every single detail. I’m under the constant feeling that people are quite simply taking my money and abandoning me. It’s frustrating! I need a vacation. I’m really a pretty gentle person, but I’m having trouble not hitting people right now.

I have no patience for stupid today.

Runs With Elk

Kids and animals. Somehow Dagmar can make connections with kids and animals.

Yesterday Dagmar was feeling poorly again, but wanted some fresh air. “I have a headache,” she said. “I vant some fresh air.” So we bundled up in our baggy sweaters and headed down the road to the park where they keep the elk herd.

“I vunder if Mister Elk will remember me,” Dagmar pondered as we pulled into the park. “I like it vhen he comes up to the fence and lets me look at him.” Generally, the bull elk will spot Dagmar as soon as we get out of the car and will come trotting right up to the fence so they can dance a little. Dagmar will put her head down, and the elk will put his head down. Dagmar will shake her head, and the elk will shake his head… It’s a fun game they have. “I hope he remembers me,” she said again, peering out the window.

“I hope so,” I said. “You two have a funny relationship.” I thought for a moment. “Relationships with wild animals are tricky. Someday we’re going to come here and Mister Elk will have outgrown his games and might not recognize you. He is a wild animal, you know.” Dagmar nodded agreement. “I know.”

We pulled into the parking lot and spotted the herd in their pasture. By the time I had the camera out Dagmar was already at the fence… Mr. Elk was up on the hill, happily munching away at a twig. But by the time I got down to the fence myself, Mr. Elk had trotted over to the fence and was happily sniffing Dagmar’s baggy sweater sleeve.

And the dance started.

Dagmar hunched down and waggled her head back and forth. The elk put his head down and swung his antlers back and forth. Dagmar put her head down to the ground; Mister Elk did the same. Dagmar curtsied to the left, so did the elk… Within minutes they were running alongside the fence. They’d run all the way to the end of the fence that way, then they’d turn around and run along the fence this way. They’d do a little dance, then run to the end and back. Mister Elk would wait patiently while Dagmar would catch her breath, then he’d dance a little… When they ran, he kept perfect pace with Dagmar, not going too fast, not too slow.

You can see more photos of Dagmar running with elk by clicking HERE. It was really neat to watch! Dagmar’s been feeling ill again, but BOY did this seem to help! I wasn’t surprised that she wanted to get outside for a while as that does sometimes help with her headaches, but to see her smiling and running — that did MY heart good!

I’ve officially lost it. I just caught myself checking my own blog to see if I’ve written anything today. (I hadn’t.)

Dagmar feels better today! Yay! She’s back at work… She said she felt better this morning than she has in weeks — she still has a lot of pain, but the “ill” feeling is waning, finally. I’m VERY happy!

What I’ve Learned in the Past Few Days:

1. I now know why there is no such thing as Pork Chop and Pepperoni Pizza. Been there, done that, not gonna do that again.

2. Blog buddy Steakbellie moved up in the rankings — he’s now ranked 18th in the WORLD by the International Federation of Competitive Eating. Hey, if you’re gonna do something, might as well be the best at it!

3. Fixing a leaky faucet really CAN take three days.

4. My wife is incredibly strong and resilient.

5. No matter where you are in life, you’re in transition.

6. There is a guy in town here who’s at least partially Irish, goes by the name of Seamus, and hates Guinness. That just ain’t right. But then again, I’m at least partially German and I hate warm potato salad, so I guess I’ll forgive him. And I’ll drink his Guinness.

7. Not much gets done when you’re watching the clock.

8. I’m not saying that I miss playing in a band, but boy do I miss playing in a band.

The Beautiful Dagmar…

Dagmar Update:

Some people have been asking about Dagmar. Well, she’s still ill… She puts on a happy face and goes to work every day, but it’s difficult for her, and she’s in pain. Without going into too much detail, there are abscesses, cysts, and infections involved, and any future operation is much riskier than normal due to her medical history. She’s seen a ton of doctors and specialists, and we’re optimistic that someone will find a way to make her feel better soon. So, she’s not feeling well, but she’s going on with daily life with a smile anyway. She’s one of the strongest people I know.

Airplane Ride:

After talking about Dagmar’s problems, it feels petty for me to write this next piece, but I’m really excited about it…

I got to go on an airplane! A real, live Air Force airplane!

A leadership class I’m attending got a quick tour of the local Air National Guard unit, which switched from fighters to tankers just a few years ago. By a stroke of luck, they took our class on a refueling run. Here are some photos:

You can see all three gazillion photos I took HERE.

Dear world…

According to the Weather Channel it’s going to be 57 degrees and sunny on Saturday. I’m hereby giving you notice that emergencies and crises will NOT be allowed between the hours of noon and 6 p.m. on this coming Saturday. I have a date with my motorcycle. Anyone who wants is welcome to come along, but there shall be riding, and it will be happening Saturday.

I will gladly work 15 hours on Friday, and I will gladly work Saturday morning. I will be happy to work Saturday night once the sun goes down, and I will work on Sunday as long as it takes. But I will NOT work between noon and 6 on Saturday.

Thank you for your kind attention.