Yes, I dropped my iPhone into a bucket of white paint. No, you can’t laugh. (Yes, it still works. Yes, I feel stupid.)

Pistachios are really rather a lot of work.

Last week I decided I’d go back to Facebook the day I could read ten posts without seeing anything political. Once a day I check in and glance through the feed. I haven’t gotten past three posts yet. The politics are heavy this year…

The nights are always darker in November than they are in June.

When I was a kid I used to stay awake late into the night to happily dream greedy Christmas dreams of mystical, magical toys, reading and re-reading the Sears catalog, carefully circling the biggest, shiniest, most colorful toys, then judiciously adding check marks beside the five or ten toys I really REALLY wanted, hoping the subtle hints would be noticed by those in charge.

Now as an adult, I dream of warm socks and going to bed early.

I installed “Grammarly” on my computer the other day. It constantly checks everything I write for grammar errors, spelling mistakes, etc. It’s driving me friggin’ nuts. It’s like having your third-grade teacher hovering over your shoulder watching you type… (Nothing against third-grade teachers, mind you, but you know what I mean.)

Some days my attempts at grasping reality very much resemble an angry orangutan chasing a bar of soap around the bathtub.

This weekend I need to pull the batteries out of my motorcycle and lawn mower and put ’em in the basement (NOT on concrete – a lesson I learned last year) for the winter. A piece of tin some friends helped me put on the shed’s roof last year blew off in the wind the other day, so I gotta find me a tall ladder and see if I can get that tacked back up (the roof leaks without it). I have about ten squeaky styrofoam coolers I need to tear apart and screw on the shed’s walls for insulation while I’m up there. And I suppose I should tidy the workshop up a bit too… I hope the weather’s nice, though I fear there’s snow in the forecast again. I don’t like snow in the forecast much. There’s always so much to do and so little time…

I just realized the only reason I’m still writing is because I’m too tired to go to bed.

Dentists scare me.