FRIDAY

My oh my, what a week! I hate it when I get stuck working long hours unexpectedly. Especially morning hours. Usually when I see 5:15 in the morning, it’s because I haven’t gone to bed yet, not because I’m headed to work…

I am now going to drink a beer. But first, a tale of ale…

“Dude,” my cohort at work, Drew, hollered at me the other day. “You gotta try this beer I found!”

“What, is Budweiser making something new?” I asked. He, quite rightly, gave me a dirty look.

“No, I went to that place around the corner, Charlie’s Liquor,” he said. “They have Beamish Stout there!” I gave him a blank look. He continued, “It’s beautiful! The best beer I’ve ever had! There’s absolutely no bitterness! It tastes like chocolate!” His eyes crossed slightly, tongue hanging out a bit, a goofy smile on his silly mug.

“That good?” I asked. “I’ll have to try it!” About then the boss came around the corner, frowning so hard I thought his nose was gonna pop off. So Drew and I scurried back to our respective corners like the little worker roaches we are.

After work that day I found myself staring vacantly into the refrigerator, waiting for my beloved bride Dagmar to get off work. There wasn’t much in the refrigerator to look at, so I shut the door and wandered off into the other room. That’s when inspiration struck! I was gonna go get some of that Beaver Snout or whatever it was that Drew liked! Off I went on the three-block trek to Charlie’s Liquor.

It should be noted that I never shop at Charlie’s. It’s a nice clean store, but they never have what I want… They don’t carry any New Belgium products (like my beloved Abbey, for example, see my previous, and much better written post HERE), and that’s about all I really want any more. Abbey and it’s older brother, 1554, a very fine beer indeed, suit me just fine. But if my buddy Drew thinks I should try a beer, well, I trust his judgment.

The door beeped at me when I opened it. A lady peered over the counter at me. I smiled and waved a little and headed for the Odd Beer Section. I scanned the labels. Guinness, Old Pekuliar, no Beamish Stout. The lady wandered over. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“I’m looking for Beamish Stout,” I said. “I heard rumors you guys carried it…?”

“Well, we usually have some,” she said, “but someone just bought the last of it this afternoon. There was another guy here just a few minutes looking for it, too,” she said. She then went on to describe my buddy Drew to a tee. “He looked awfully disappointed when I told him we were out,” she said. “We should have some in tomorrow or the next day.” I thanked her, grabbed a six-pack of beer more or less at random and left. That night I had my first Samuel Adams Cream Stout. Not bad… But not as good as I imagined Beamish Stout would be.

The next day, the door beeped at me when I opened it. A grouchy-looking heavyweight with a goatee glared at me from behind the counter. I searched in vain for the Beamish. Finally I asked the guy if they had any Beamish. “No,” he said. A man of many words, he. I went home and had another Sam Adams Cream Stout. “The Cappucino of Beers,” the label read. Not bad.

Day three found me back at the store again. This time the lady was there again. “We don’t have it,” she called from the counter. “The distributor said they’re not going to give us any more. You may want to try going to Nebraska or South Dakota – they have different laws there…” Shoot. If I’m gonna schlep all the way to South Sioux in Nebraska to buy beer, I’m gonna get Abbey and 1554, which is pretty much what I wanted in the first place! I was simply hoping to find a good beer within walking distance…

So I just got back from South Sioux. They didn’t have Beamish Stout, either… But I now have a firm supply of my beloved Abbey! I am indeed a happy man! When I opened the fridge to put the Abbey away, I saw one bottle of Sam Adams Cream Stout, a bottle of Boulevard Wheat (a great summer beer if you toss a bit of lemon in it), a few random New Belgium beers, and a Miller Lite. I pushed it all to the back and put my Abbey in the place of honor.

I shall now drink one.

Has anyone out there had this Beamish Stout stuff? Should I keep looking for it? Am I missing out on anything? Is it as good as Abbey (which I am now drinking)?