STRESS relief

Sometmies, atfer werking al day tpying thigs for udder peepul, I secretely come hmoe and mispel werds un porpoise. (It makes me feel better.)

Every time I see the word “porpoise,” it reminds me of this joke (warning, no one said it’s a good joke):

A man had a friend who owned two very intelligent porpoises. They could do amazing tricks and were able to communicate with humans very well. After much urging, the owner agreed to sell the porpoises to his friend. “But remember this,” said the seller: “The porpoises will never die as long as you feed them each one live seagull every day. As soon as you miss a day, they will die.”

The new owner took the porpoises home and put them in his outdoor swimming pool, where he kept them alive and well for some time. Each day he would go down to the beach, capture a couple live seagulls, and bring them home to feed to the porpoises.

One day as he was returning home with a gull in each hand, he found a lion lying across his doorstep, basking in the sun. He panicked, because he knew that if he didn’t get through to feed the porpoises, they would die, so he jumped over the lion and ran quickly into the house.

Inside, much to his surprise, were two FBI agents who promptly placed him under arrest. “What’s the charge?” asked the stunned porpoise owner. “What have I done wrong?”

“You, sir,” replied one of the FBI agents, “are being charged for illegally transporting captive gulls across a sedate lion for immortal porpoises!”

ITMFA

While I don’t use foul language in my blog (if that’s the only way you can express yourself, you need help), I do enjoy people who use profanity creatively. (Thanks to Bacon for pointing that one out.) Other fun blogs are chet not stupid, which deals with Iowa gubernatorial candidate Chet Culver and his, well, questionable intelligence. I always like Talk Like a Pirate, too. And this gem about another guy running for governor of our fair state.